What Stigma?
Welcome to a SURPRISE midweek post in “The Bipolar Marriage Blog”! I had no intention of writing and releasing the next blog until this weekend. Though, something caught my eye on twitter that got my writing juices flowing. So much in fact, that my notepad for writing ideas was not far from reach nearly all afternoon.
Yesterday on twitter #whatstigma became one of the trending topics in UK. This started with UK actress Rebecca Front tweeting: “Hey well known Twitterers. Fancy taking the stigma out of mental illness? I’ll start: I’m Rebecca Front & I’ve had panic attacks.#whatstigma”.
The stigma of mental illness is a very real issue for those who are suffering from mental illness and those who are close to them, not to mention a huge passion of mine. So, as you might imagine when I saw the efforts surfacing here in the United States trying to make this a trending topic on twitter I felt the need for a timely blog post.
Why the stigma?
Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines stigma as “a mark of shame or discredit; an identifying mark or characteristic; a specific diagnostic sign of a disease”. Up until about 2 years ago I was very sheltered from the stigma associated with mental illness. I had my own ideas as to what mental illness was. My mentality at that time was take some pills, take care of yourself, and get back to work. It appalled me that people would actually believe that they couldn’t work with mental illness. In my mind it was all laziness. All of this has changed VERY drastically. It wasn’t until my own husband was diagnosed with several mental illnesses – the most prevalent being Bipolar Disorder (aka manic depression), Anxiety with agoraphobia, and schizoaffective disorder – that the stereotype that I very firmly planted in my mind was shattered into a million pieces.
Our modern society has, for the most part, an attitude for tolerance in most aspects of life. However, when it comes to mental illness in many ways it is like the mentally ill are walking around wearing the proverbial scarlet letter and stained for life. This is not something that can be changed overnight, or even within a year. Though little by little I think we all can do our part to embrace those who are suffering from mental illness to make that barrier of understanding more and more insignificant.
What can I do?
1) Education
My view of mental illness did not change overnight. It took me about 7-8 months for me to realize that it is much more complicated than what I had originally thought. A huge turning point for me was reading a 12 page write up on Bipolar Disease that is put together by National Alliance on Mental Illness http://www.nami.org/ . NAMI is an incredible organization that has a considerable amount of resources and information regarding mental illnesses. Educate yourself on the illnesses – ESPECIALLY if you have a loved one suffering from mental illness. You might be shocked at what you learn.
2) Support your loved ones with mental illness
Do you know someone with mental illness? It doesn’t necessarily have to be someone in your family. Do you know someone at the office? In your neighborhood? In your church? Those struggling from mental illness need a strong support system around them. Many times it isn’t for anything other than someone to listen to them. Give your time – you’ll be glad you did!
3) Get the message out there
I am doing my part to get the message out there. What will you do? You can share this article with family, friends, and colleagues so they too can be aware that this is a very real issue today. We can all work together to eradicate this stigma.
Coming in the next blog entry
In the next blog I will be addressing issues directly to the healthy spouse, specifically the challenges that they face in caring for the ill spouse and how to keep a healthy balance in caring for your family. Watch for the next blog post titled “For the Mentally Healthy Spouse…..or at least you thought you were!” coming out on Monday April 25th or before.
Contact us!
Please comment on this blog – I would truly appreciate your feedback! What is your experience with the stigma associated with mental illness? Do you disagree with my points? Please I want to hear any and all feedback.
You can also follow me on twitter @bipolarmarriage. I love to engage with others dealing with mental illness there and would be honored if you followed me. I try to share resources and articles on twitter as much as possible. Please also feel free to send an e-mail to feedback@thebipolarmarriage.com with any feedback that you don’t feel comfortable leaving in the comments section on the blog.
I really feel like I should start applauding right here at my computer. Your husband is so lucky to have such an understanding spouse who is willing to help. I am also really glad to find your blog. I’m in a similar situation, only we’re just starting out. I’m the one with a mental illness, I’ve had Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia for ten years and just simple Panic Disorder my whole life. Add in GAD and PTSD from my previous abusive marriage and you have the neurotic mess that is me.
We’ve dated for three years and were best friends for a while before that. He knows me pretty well and I believe I’ve been painfully honest about my limitations and my prognosis. I’ve been recovering from the agoraphobia slowly for the past year and a half. He’s very understanding and says he wants ME, disorders and all, and that he’s aware and ready to make this work. We’re getting married in August and I’m moving to his town, which is 150 miles away from mine.
I’m scared though, because I’m afraid that he won’t be able to handle me. He knows I have my ‘bad days’ and my ‘episodes’, but I can’t be sure he really grasps just how bad I get sometimes. We are both Christians and decided a long time ago we won’t live together before we are married. Your blog gives me hope that maybe he means what he says. That maybe he won’t end up resenting my limitations and their effects on our life. I’m going to send him the link and look up other resources for family of people that are mentally ill, I really don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it sooner.
As for the stigma of mental illness, I know that all too well. Being housebound for almost a decade, I’ve had a lot of discrimination from family and friends. Not all of them, but enough to hurt, enough to make me feel ashamed for years that I was a ‘mental cripple’ as my stepdad put it. I couldn’t drive, couldn’t work, getting out of bed in the morning and getting dressed was a challenge for me.
I don’t think that most people get that for those of us with mental illness, life is harder in a lot of ways. Even now that I’ve recovered to a point where I can ride in the car with only moderate discomfort, it exhausts me to no end. I have to constantly manage my panic feelings and soothe myself. Taking a shower was a big deal for me when I was at my worst too, I’m better at it now, but there’s still a ghost of fear when I shut the curtain and turn on the water.
It also waxes and wanes like any other mental illness. I have my good days, my good months, my good years and then I might have a horrible day, month, year. Thank you for your blog, I have shared it on Facebook and if you don’t mind I will add you to my blogroll. Please keep writing!
~Wendi~
http://theanxietyexperience.wordpress.com
Wendi –
I am so glad that you found the blog – and thank you for having the courage to share part of your story here. I truly appreciate the feed back and the encouragement to know that there are others out there that are finding hope and encouragement from this blog. The journey my husband and I have been on has been a very very rocky scary one. There were days that I wanted to give up, though I am so glad I didn’t. I wish you and your soon to be husband the best. It will take a lot of hard work, though my husband and I are proof that it CAN be done! Thank you so much for sharing this blog on facebook – I want to get the word out there about stigma to as many people as will listen! I hope to have a facebook fanpage set up in the coming weeks – so stay tuned! If you’re on twitter feel free to follow me there – @bipolarmarriage